Finding Hope in the Waiting: Navigating Infertility
Infertility is a journey no one expects to take. It’s a road filled with longing, hope, and heartbreak—a cycle of waiting, praying, and often grieving. If you are walking this path, I want you to know: you are not alone.
I know the rollercoaster of emotions that come with each passing month—the cautious hope, the waiting, and then the grief that follows when the answer is "not yet" or "not at all." My husband and I have been on this road for years.
When we first started trying to conceive, I had this feeling that it would either happen quickly or take a long time. I didn’t expect the latter to be true. After a few months of trying, we began testing, only to find that our chances of conceiving naturally were low. We turned to IVF, hoping it would be the answer. But cycle after cycle, my body didn’t respond the way we had prayed it would. The devastation ran deep. Meanwhile, friends were announcing pregnancies, baby showers filled my weekends, and I held newborns in my arms while wondering if I’d ever hold my own.
And then, against all odds, we conceived our son naturally. He is now six, a beautiful, unexpected miracle. But our journey didn’t end there. For the past four years, we’ve longed to grow our family again, only to face disappointment month after month. As I’m coming up to 44 this year there is definitely the wonder if it will ever happen, or if I should put that hope behind us and focus on what I do have and the future that is somewhat under my control.
Yet, through it all, I have learned something powerful: infertility does not define me, and it does not define you.
Infertility and the Weight of Waiting
One of the hardest parts of infertility is the waiting. Waiting for test results. Waiting for a positive pregnancy test. Waiting to see if treatments work. It can feel like life is on hold, like everything revolves around the next cycle, the next appointment, the next possibility. Putting hold on overseas trips just in case you are pregnant when it rolls around, not getting the season ski pass just in case.
It’s easy to feel like your body has failed you. Like you are somehow less than. But let me remind you—you are whole, just as you are. Your worth is not defined by your ability to conceive. You are not broken.
The Complexity of Faith and Infertility
If you have prayed and pleaded with God for a child and the answer has not come, it can shake your faith to its core. It can make you wonder if He hears you at all.
I’ve wrestled with God in this journey. I’ve asked Him why. I’ve cried out in frustration. But through every valley, He has shown me His goodness. Not because my story worked out the way I wanted, but because He has never left my side.
If you are in the thick of the waiting, please know this: You are not alone. You are not forgotten. And your story is not over.
“ Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces.”
Finding a Future Beyond Infertility
I don’t know how your story will unfold. I wish I could promise that everyone’s journey will end with a baby, but I can’t. What I can say is that there is still a future for you. Whether it includes a child or takes a different path, there is still life beyond infertility. There is still love. There is still joy.
So today, if your heart is heavy, if the waiting feels unbearable, if you are wondering whether hope is still worth holding on to—please hear this:
You are enough, right now, exactly as you are.
You are deeply loved, regardless of what happens next.
Your life still has meaning, purpose, and beauty—whether or not it includes a child.
Infertility can feel like an endless road, but it is not the end of your story. However your journey unfolds, I pray you find peace in the waiting, hope in the uncertainty, and the reassurance that you are not alone.
If you would like to share your story, to feel seen, heard and loved, I am holding a retreat day at my home on April 5th, 2025. Contact me to find out more.
