Why would you choose Homeschooling?
Climbing rocks at Nugget Point Beach, Catlins, NZ
I recently posted online that we’re choosing to homeschool Benny. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I have no idea what it will look like and yet there is this huge part of me that is totally drawn to it.
Homeschooling is something that originally entered my awareness as a young teen, and something about it appealed to me then, but I was happy enough in the school system so nothing happened. When Dave and I met I became aware that he had homeschooled his girls when they were younger, but they were all attending school by the time we started dating, so I knew he was on board with the idea. One of our longer term goals from the early days was to do long term travel. I also wanted kids so I just figured we’d travel and homeschool at the same time.
Exploring the Catling, NZ
Then Benny came along. Such a precious wee gift who has overcome so many challenges! And as we got closer and closer to school age I became more and more reluctant to let go of our days together. I don’t want to only get to spend the after school hours and weekends with him. After school life is busy with cooking and potentially homework and generally that’s both of our worst time of day energywise. Then the weekends are often full with church and birthday parties or housework, it leaves so little time for play and adventures. I also realised I want a front row seat in his learning. I started to get really excited about the idea of exploring places together and learning stuff together or sharing my knowledge.
Waimari Beach, Christchurch, NZ
I also started to become more aware of some potential neurodiverse quirks Benny might have. Sensory issues are definitely a thing. And he’s not as good at sitting down listening to people talking as other kids around him. Maybe its just a boy thing, I don’t really know, but I started to get concerned he would be the kid in the classroom constantly being told to be quiet, constantly being told to sit down or being told off for not doing what he’s supposed to. Loads of people tell me that new entrant classrooms are highly play based, but what if he’s not ready to comply when he gets to an age where it isn’t so play based? I don’t want the school experience to put him off learning, especially when he is so smart and so keen to soak it all up!
Waimari Beach, Christchurch, NZ
So I started thinking more seriously about homeschooling. In true Erin fashion (and in what I learned is the whole basis of unschooling), I listened to podcasts, I started reading books, I met up with other homeschooling parents and talked to them online. I felt out the idea. I started thinking about what I need to make this happen, as well as what Benny and Dave also need to make it thrive. I also investigated the alternative. We have Benny enrolled in a small Christian school not far from us, and while I had already pushed back his enrolment for a term and a half after he turned five, I met with the new entrant teacher who was totally compassionate with our situation, and it left me feeling much more confident that it could be a good option for him, IF we can’t make homeschooling fly. So I pushed back his enrolment til the start of next year and that is possibly still a backup for us. Yup I’m that nervous about it I’m keeping my backup in place!
Ashley Gorge, NZ
One of the things I have noticed over the last five and a bit years, and sometime I mentioned early on is that Benny is doing life on his terms and on his timeline. I need to keep reminding myself of that! Trying to get him to drink bottles sooner than he was ready didn’t work, and ended up resulting in an oral aversion with him taking nothing orally for a number of months. Trying to get him to drink enough to hydrate himself sooner than he was ready involved a number of overnight hospital stays and so much frustration and resentment on my part. Trying to get him to read when he’s not in the mood ends in tantrums, but let him lead the charge and he absolutely thrives! Letting him follow his interests and seeing where it goes is the coolest thing! A couple of hours ago we had a conversation about gravity. The other day it was a maths lesson at the dinner table. Last night we read a book about microbes and how they can help preserve foods. Seeing the amazing stuff he creates with his lego constantly blows my mind. And the stories he tells me about his drawings, i’m excited to see his artistic ability catch up to his amazing creativity!
We also love exploring. We’re both happier people when we can spend a decent amount of time outside. We love visiting museums and playgrounds and animal parks and getting out in nature and catching up with friends. Getting grounded, getting some vitamin D, getting our nervous system regulated makes us better people to be around.
Ashley Gorge, NZ
Although initially unschooling seemed way out there, the more I learned the more it appeals to me. It is child led. The parents job is to provide opportunities, to try some stuff, to encourage, but to let it up to the child. And so Benny is going some super cool places!! The other day he told me he wanted to be a painter when he grows up. This morning he told me he was a minecrafting ninja scientist. I love that he has the confidence to be all of those things and I don’t have to tell him to just pick one. Coz I dont wan’t to just pick one! (more on that in another post!)
I definitely don’t have all the answers yet. One of the great unknowns is how I will work on prioritising what I need while we’re exploring this whole homeschooling thing. I know i need movement and exercise. I know i need good food. I know I need some quiet time. In theory it’s all possible and totally do-able but in reality I need to work on some mindset stuff around it.
Some of the things I’ve learned along the way that might be helpful if homeschooling is starting to get on your radar include:
Lake Lyndon, NZ
Get clear on your why. Why do you want to do this? What does it give you that traditional schooling doesn’t? And keep coming back to that why.
What do you need to make this work for you? As I’ve already mentioned I need exercise, good food and quiet time, as well as some time in nature, all regularly! Dave is looking into working out what he needs. Right now he’s not clear on it so hopefully he’s finished his masters soon and can have some more capacity to explore it.
Get connected in with others already doing this and doing it well! Finding your people is so important. They help support and encourage you when you’re feeling down, can share advice and help you find your groove. And they have some super cool outings you can join in on too! Plus that means your kiddo has other kiddos to play with, and often in cool locations.
Keep learning. There is no expectation that you have all the answers, but learn how to learn. Reading, listening to podcasts, researching online or getting connected with experts (or just more experienced) in the field are all so available to us. There is a world of knowledge out there, and even when I’m teaching my class at a tertiary institution I accept I don’t have all the answers, but I know how to find the answer, or I encourage my students to find the answers.
It’s ok to change your mind, or change whats working for you as your situation changes. I totally understand that especially with the cost of living what it is at the moment it can be a sacrifice financially to have someone home full time, or working out alternative work hours. Sometimes that just doesn’t work, or the situation changes. Sometimes other things can happen and mentally you just need something different. It’s all ok. You haven’t failed, you either tried something that didn’t work, or your situation or needs changed.
I’d love to hear from you, have you thought about homeschooling but were too scared to try? Are you doing it and loving it? Did you try it and it didn’t work for you? Any tips and tricks for someone just starting out in it?
